Last post

Now that chemotherapy has finished and I have had the scan results Clare and I are keen to get back to as normal a life as possible so this is the last post from me as I face getting fit again and hoping the cancer stays away for many many years.

If I start again it will be bad news and the cancer is back so here's hoping this is it for a lonnnnnggggg time. In the meantime I am going to life my life to the fullest. Cancer is terrible for the sufferer and loved ones but it gives you a unique perspective on life only a few can relate to. Without labouring this it's time to look at life a whole new way. If you are lucky enough to share a pint with me I will no doubt bore you with what all this means to me :)

It's been a hell of a year but I am looking forward and will deal with the complexities of living with this disease the very best I can. On the plus side I have a great wife and kids and a lovely new baby daughter. My boss and colleagues have been incredibly supportive and I am very thankful to my friend Jon for his charity efforts. Also we owe a lot to many others from the school mums who helped out with school runs to those who put up with me when I was not feeling too cheerful about my situation.

I do plan my own charity event next October next year. Inspired by Jon and others I plan a coast to coast cycle run in Ireland to raise money for research into lymphoma. I will no doubt run a blog on these adventures and chase everyone for sponsorship :)

That's all fom me. Wish us luck and thanks for reading.

Scan results

Got scan results today. Summary is I have good partial remission (complete is very rare with my disease). All the enlarged lymph nodes are pretty much normal size with the exception of 1 which is greatly reduced from 5cm x 5cm to 1.7. Normal size is 1cm and the enlarged one may only be that size due to scar tissue. All round a good result and consultant is happy.

What's next?

Well as planned I get maintanence treatment every 8 weeks for 2 yrs. This only takes a couple of hrs and has no side effects. How long I stay in remission is unknown. Could be a couple of years or could be 20. Who knows. The maintanence treatment is to push the cancer further away and keep me in remission so if that does the trick I will be good.

When it does return i will have a few options. A stem cell transplant which although currently risky can cure the cancer or possibly other treatments and many are on the horizon which can cure or greatly extend remission. Thinking positive here.

The best I can do in the meantime is get healthy, live well and get stuck into the greatest life possible with my lovely kids and Clare. 1st step is to get well then start on the push to fitness and live healthily.

Right now I feel pretty good and although far from 100% well I am working longer days than before and feeling more up to the normal day to day.

Last Achy week

Had mild back pains all week as well as odd stomach muscle and neck pains. Seems to be easing a bit tho. Glad it's the last week of these aches. Should just have the fatigue to deal with from next week and pushing to kick that as soon as I can!

Starting early planning for my charity bike run. Very early in fact as I won't do it until Oct! Looking at cycle computers with Gps as my Xmas pressie and have my contact at charity comg back to me on routes in Ireland and training plan hopefully. Aiming to get on my bike next week and very slowly ease in. So looking forward to being fit.

In other news kids already getting xmas mad here. School Xmas fayre tomorrow. Should be fun!

Award winner

Last night I attended an awards event hosted by luekemia and lymphoma research in London. My friend Jon was invited for his run and he kindly asked me to join him.

What a great evening. Great to see so many great fundraisers, drink champagne with Jon with an amazing view of London and event better Jon won an award for his run. Alastair Campbell presented it to him as well! It was very bizarre hear Alastair Campbell talk about me, Criterion Games and baby Lily. Was great to see Jon up there get the award. Great job!

The whole thing really inspired me for my own biking charity event next year and I have a contact at the charity now who will help me get this organised.

In other news it's achy week and so far I am not feeling too bad despite my night out. Took the last of my drugs this morning as well so threw the pharmacy paper bag in the bin with an amazing sense of pleasure! Another milestone met. Just over 1 week until my scan!

Final chemo done!

Last treatment yesterday. Fairly usual crappy experience. Spent afternoon in bed and after helping get kids to bed went off to bed again myself. Feeling better today but still pretty tired.

I have a scan in just over 2 weeks followed by appointment with doc to go over results then that's me until first maintanence treatment in 8 weeks.

Really hoping achy week not bad this week and I am on road to normality by Xmas.

Frustrations

Hate to moan, but hell it's my blog so who cares, but what a mixed week. For a week 3 it's been challenging because I have pushed myself harder than ever under treatment and been frustrated I cannot achieve as much as I want. I should probably be chuffed I have managed so much but instead I am annoyed how I still feel held back. I am such high maintanence!

We had a fireworks party over at neighbours which we all enjoyed, was godfather at a best friends baby's baptism in London and had two full days of meetings at work - first full days since chemo started.

And it's only Wednesday night!

Looking forward to the weekend, getting my chemo out of the way and looking forward best I can. I am so glad Tuesday's is the last. I am sick of the drugs, sick of the tiredness, sick of putting Clare through the stress of picking me up with the kids cos I can't drive, sick of those hospital beds, the smell, the food, every little detail of the experience of being in the hospital.

Ouch!

Week 2 and it's achy achy time. Suffering awful back pains this time but trying to resist the heavy pain killers as they could upset me and i am taking enough crap right now.

Taking the afternoons to rest so I can work in morning and help with kids at night but still suffering. Trying to be positive that the next time I go through this will be at end of chemo but still pain is hard and making me grumpy as hell.

Day of the Big Run

Today Jon Lawrence, my friend and colleague ran the Great South Run and beat his record time. As Jon would say 'Strong!'

He has raised nearly £3,500 for Leukemia and Lymphoma Research, an amount that EA will match. The man should be very proud of himself!

He even made it to be fund raiser of the month. I am very touched by his commitment and effort to raise much needed funds and many thanks to all those people who sponsored him.

In other news, we all went to a Halloween and Fireworks party on Friday night. The kids loved it and we had a really nice time eating and drinking outside at the country club as it was such a mild night.

End of the half term holidays today. Its been a tough one what with it being treatment week but the good news is only 2 weeks until the final round of chemo.

On Tuesday my consultant took me through the steps thereafter:

I will get a scan on 1st of December to assess how well treatment has gone then starting 10th Jan I will get what's called maintenance treatment every 8 weeks for 2 yrs to keep the cancer in remission. At least that's the theory and in most cases what happens.

So looking forward to Xmas now. Starting to get some aches and pains as usual for this stage but nothing too troublesome yet.

Prestige

Not a bad week despite having a cold. Been busy at work and home with the baby. Feeling a bit sore tonight but I think that's just tiredness from the busy week.

After months of play when I could get time I have finally hit Prestige on Call of Duty modern warfare 2 (rank 70+). Clare is happy cos i have been playing for a while and playing this game online winds me up.

Gaming season has very much begun with a new big hitter out every Friday. Now if only I had more time to play!

Quiet weekend planned this weekend. Lots of nice fAmily time before round 7 of chemo on tues.

Clan Gathering

Had my parents, sister and brother in law visit until Sunday which was busy but really nice. Unfortunately I now have a cold so dealing with that and hoping it does not get any worse.

Was nice to see the family, take them out for a lovely lunch and get some time out with Clare.

Week 2, traditionally the 'achy back week' was less severe that my last cycle but still slowed me down a bit.

Lily doing well. Over a month already and full of smiles for daddy - result!

Getting into the groove of week 3 with added sniffles.

One more week then its cycle 7 - the penultimate one. Feels like the end is getting closer. Can't wait to feel healthy again!

Family time

Had my brother visit over the weekend which was busy but nice. I felt pretty good over the weekend so we managed to go for a walk and take the kids swimming. This week my parents, sister and brother in law visit which I am looking forward to. I have even been uber organised and sorted out Xmas presents for them to take home with them.

Unfortunately the aches and pains have set in again so I am not sleeping or functioning as well as I would like. Hoping pains subside so I have energy to do family stuff.

My friend Jon, who is running the Great South Run has managed to get a piece about his run and I in the lymphoma association newsletter and website so I have been writing my contribution for this about my diagnosis and experience with cancer. All good publicity to hopefully raise more money and awareness.

Number 6. 2 to go!

My third week on cycle 3 was great. After the pain and frustration of week 2 I felt almost normal. I felt focussed at work and in good spirits. What a roller coaster! Was also nice to see my Bro at the weekend.

Go round 6 chemo yesterday and feel not too bad so far but week 2 is the one to watch. Got my detailed results from scan and all pretty good. Swollen lymph nodes all heading down and termed as 'partially reduced'. Doc happy with this so hopefully they will keep shrinking as much as possible. I will get a scan at end of chemo then another 1 yr into my maintanence therapy.

My niece and nephew did the Cumbrian run this weekend to raise funds for lymphoma research. Very proud of them!
My friend jon also does the great south run at the end of the month.

Lily, clare and kids doing well. Clare dealing with lily still at nights so I can rest. My wife needs some kind of medal! She is great!

Parents, sister and bro in law visiting next week which is great so hoping week 2 more forgiving than the last time!

Frustrated...

Productive at work and nice wander out at lunch but then tonight I am knackered and suffering lots of muscular pain.
Been like this for most evenings this week. Not sure if it's because life is busy with baby or what but aches and pains a killer this time. Hoping this subsides later this week so I feel better soon.

Other news is baby Lily is doing well. She is so good. Clare taking the brunt so I can rest in evenings so we are both knackered...no fun.

Half Time Results

Cutting to the chase my scan results are good. My consultant has not looked at detail but all swollen lymph nodes, including the worrisome one deep inside are down nicely. He seemed pretty happy...so am I to say the least!

More detail in next appointment in 3 weeks. Also small lumps I found on my back a while back - that I have been keeping quiet about on blog - are very likely lypomas (spelling?) - harmless fatty tissue most of us have. Amazing how paranoid you get about your body going through something like this. Doc says they did not show up on CT scan plus ultra sound results good.

Other bonus is no planned Bone marrow check at the end. He will do another scan at end before I go on maintenance therapy at end of chemo.

So 5 down and 3 to go.

Very bizarre being in the hospital for chemo with Clare and my new born baby. All the nurses were coo'ing over her while all I could think about was how do I get my blood test done!

So far a little tired but hard to judge as we have baby Lily to look after although clare is doing most of the hard work through the night.
She is a good wee baby all round and the kids love her. Clares mum heads home to Scotland on Saturday so we are on our own from then. Her help has been invaluable this past few weeks.

Dad Again

Little Lily was born on Saturday at 1am. She is 8 pounds 6 and a little sweetie. Clare was amazing.

Clare went in as planned to be induced on Saturday but as it happened the early stages of labour were starting so luckily no need for much help to bring the baby on. I arrived at the hospital at midnight after a call from clare to say it was all happening and baby was born just after 1am. A very fast labour...thank god for that as a I am not sure now I would have managed a long one with my fatigue.

Clare and lily got home next day so now we are settling in to baby world again. The kids love her and so far she has been pretty good although she was awake a lot last night. Clare is taking the brunt to let me sleep. She really is awesome. Her mum is still here as well which is a great help, cutting down othe chores and entertaining the kids a bit.

Had my scan on Tuesday so less than 36 Hrs to wait for results. I so hope I have good news.

No baby yet

No arrival of baby yet. Due date is actually mid month but Clare was early with Connor and Neve so expected the same.

Clares mum is here and has been a good help to us both. It's the last week of the school holidays as well.

I managed to work all week as usual despite some really nasty back ache mid week. Right now not feeling too bad at all, just tired from a busy day out with the kids.

Scan on Tuesday and results when I go in for next treatment on 13th.

Bank holiday weekend

After a fun busy bank holiday weekend I am knackered. We went to Thai food festival and a local air show called Wings and Wheels. Was a lot of fun with the kids but lots of aches and pains in back and shoulders tonight. Still happy I managed to do everything we wanted.

Frustrated I could not eat all the lovely prawns at the Thai festival tho. When chemo is done I am eating shellfish by the tonne!

At work tomorrow and then picking up Clares mum from the airport so early night tonight!

No baby yet! Hoping for arrival this coming weekend...

2 days after cycle 4 chemo

Not too bad. Little bit tired and achey but better than cycles 1 and 2 by far. I get a scan in 2 weeks so I will know much better how treatment is going when I get results in mid sept for cycle 5. Fingers and everything crossed!

Hoping I am fit for a busy bank holiday weekend. No baby arrived yet but all set!

Getting close to half way

My 4th of 8 cycles of chemo is due on Tuesday. Been feeling ok most of this week until today - feel tired. I think it's due to having visitors and going out for dinner last night tho. It was great to see my brother and nephew and take Clare out for dinner at Kinghams in Shere but paying the price today. Never mind hopefully a restful sleep and I will be feeling a bit better.

Interesting development in the news - they have discovered that modified ecstasy could be a great treatment for leukaemia and lymphoma. So maybe a future of raves is ahead for me. Sounds like the Shamen were right about Ebenezeer after all :)

Wish me luck for Tuesday!

Every cycle seems a little different

Been working until around 3 this week which has been cool. Lots to keep me busy so enjoying that.
Fatigue has been fairly manageable this cycle but I have had aches and pains to varying degrees throughout. Each cycle really does seem a little different.

Meeting my good old mate Ewen tonight for dinner which will be really nice. He's just become a dad so lots to catch up on!
Also my bro and nephew arrive tommorrow so a busy few days ahead before I hit cycle 4! Half way there nearly!!